I absolutely love this picture. It’s on the wall in my office, right above my desk, and I smile every time I look at it. I like it so much, in fact, that it inspired me to write this blog post. To be as real as I can be, if you’re in a relationship, your partner should make you feel like this.
I’ve never felt as loved as I do now, and let me tell you, we both went through plenty to get to each other. Of course I think it was all meant to be part of the universe's grand plan, and I know we had family members pulling some strings for us, both here and from up above (yes, I fully believe my Nonna brought Jay to me after she passed;)
I’ve always tried to manifest a partner I’d want to be with my whole life, it just took me half a lifetime to get there. After many other relationships, one marriage and one divorce I finally met my soulmate. I lived unhappily in my first marriage for years. I put a lot of work into trying to make it work, and when it was clear it wasn’t working, I blamed myself. I was sad, confused and terrified about ending it but it was ultimately the only option. It was that relationship or my sanity and self worth. I chose the latter.
I look at that picture and can see that I’m anything but sad, confused and terrified. I look at that picture and I can see that I’m happy, safe and loved. It actually makes me feel giddy, and as Jay likes to say, that’s what being home is supposed to feel like. It’s a great interpretation of that notion that home isn’t really about the place. Home is about the people. When I was young, Highland Park, Illinois was where I lived, but my home was my loving mother, my hard-working father, my supportive sister, and so many amazing friends and family members.
In that same spirit, home is now this incredible partner who supports me in everything I do, who loves me despite (or, he’ll tell you, because of) my goofy energy and crazy antics, who wants nothing more than to create and sustain an energy where we both know we can simply be who we are without fear of judgment, dismissal or disrespect.
And don’t think I’m just here gushing away about my great partnership to show off. This connection came my way only after I had healed from past relationships, and I was ready to receive it. It’s funny and a little bit magical that when you evolve into the version of yourself that truly cares for yourself, you attract someone who is going to care for you just as much if not more! I knew what I wanted in an abstract way, but I also knew I had to be in a place where I could be confident in who I was and happy on my own. That’s how I knew I was ready to be home for someone.
Today, it’s amazing to have a partner that understands me, considers what I need, someone who is fearlessly honest with me, and laughs with me all the time. Of course that’s only possible if I am providing those exact same essential aspects of a healthy relationship right back to him. That doesn’t mean life is one continuous flow of stress-free perfection. We’re always working on listening honestly, talking openly, and even giving each other some space when needed, but that’s exactly where the magic comes from.
I’m here to tell you that genuine love exists. It's worth both the wait for the other person and worth the work on yourself. Do not settle, don’t ever sacrifice your own happiness or self-worth for the sake of an unhealthy relationship, and never forget that you deserve to be respected, loved and happy. Come to that place within yourself first. Then you’re going to attract a partner who has done the same for themselves. You won’t be two incomplete people struggling to maintain an inadequate relationship. You’ll be two complete people who unite effortlessly to create something bigger and better than either of you could have imagined. Believe that!