I was in our local grocery store the other day doing some shopping. The usual trip and the nice thing was that I wasnāt feeling particularly rushed. That gave me the mental bandwidth to relax a bit, allowing me to take some extra time and say hello to people in true Midwestern style. I was able to smile, say hi, and engage with the store employees. Everyone was so delighted, especially me. That might sound like something from an episode of Mr. Rogerās Neighborhood, but as I left the store I felt super happy. I remembered that it just feels really good to be nice.
And thereās legit proof that putting out positive vibes to others can make you happy. According to the Mayo Clinic, ā . . . being kind boosts serotonin and dopamine, which are neurotransmitters in the brain that give you feelings of satisfaction and well-being, and cause the pleasure/reward centers in your brain to light up. Endorphins, which are your bodyās natural pain killer, also can be released.ā Thatās a scientific explanation for why it feels good to be good, but I never needed research to prove that point.
Iāve always tried to live as a kind person. Itās how my parents raised me and feels like the default setting for most folks where Iām from in good olā Highland Park, Illinois. Iāve been living in the DC area a couple years now, and I have to admit that I definitely don't think that's the norm out here. People tend to be a bit more stand-offish, insular and protective. I get it. In a town where everyone is constantly sizing one another up for what they can do for them, your first instinct is to wonder whatās motivating someone to be nice to you. āJust becauseā doesnāt cut it as an answer out here! Jay even jokes when we attend DC social functions to be prepared for the first cocktail party question. Itās not, āHow are you?ā Itās always, āWhat do you do?ā Thatās a way of sizing people up both of us find a bit bleak, but hey, thatās the game out here.
People have even accused me of being too nice, but thatās a critique I wear as a badge of honor! I spent a long time working in customer service, and Iāve always worked with people. I get how tricky it is to manage personalities and maintain politeness, but leading with kindness and wanting to help others has always served me well. To me, nothing feels better than knowing you made someoneās day a little bit better with a smile, compliment or small act of kindness. Hey, Iām happy to put that shopping cart away for you! It doesnāt cost anything and you canāt help but feel good about that in turn.
So now youāre probably asking, āOkay, whatās the point, Little Miss Sunshine?ā I guess I just want to remind you to find a moment or two every day and put this to the test. Take the extra time to engage with a stranger, be more present in a conversation with a loved one, welcome a new friend to spend time, or even quietly do something good for someone else with no worries about getting any credit or recognition. Of course you can let me know how it goes, but you can also just pay attention to how good being a good person can make you feel. Try to create even one moment of kindness for someone else every day. I promise you the good vibes will come back to you a hundred times over.