Crazy how time flies. I turned 40 last December, which means 41 is quickly approaching. To tell the truth, I am really excited! I know people who have shared my enthusiasm and others who have legit anxiety about aging. I like to think I have gotten better with age -- as the cliche goes, just like a fine wine, lol!
Let’s go back to the beginning: Growing up, my parents instilled a strong work ethic, so I got my first job when I was about 15. Wanting my own car and to buy stuff my parents wouldn’t get for me was a big motivator. Along with earning some dough, the big benefit was learning to appreciate and respect hard work. Like so many teenagers, I was pretty impressionable, and was trying to find my true self. I went through many phases, including a hippie phase where I made my own funky clothes, loved 60s music, incense and black light (though never enjoyed smoking pot, so go figure). After Flower Child Jen, I transitioned into Gangster Fabulous Jen. Definitely not my parents’ favorite phase! And while I hung out with a questionable crowd, I still tried to be the rule follower I am today, so thankfully I didn’t get into too much trouble.
I definitely think I lived my 20’s to the fullest, a little more on the wild side. Hanging with more of a party crowd, I made a few bad decisions, but thankfully that was short-lived. I knew that life was not for me. I don’t regret any of those experiences because I made friends with people from different walks of life -- a diverse crowd I think helped me understand all kinds of perspectives. It also really made me appreciate what I had and what my family provided while also giving me a powerful sense of empathy. Today I will be the first to tell you that it’s really important to try and understand someone's life situation and consider what others may be going through. That’s also probably a big reason why I tuned into my spiritual side later in life.
When I was 20, I became a licensed Esthetician, and went to LA to complete a makeup course in Hollywood; I always wanted to be a make-up artist! I started working for MAC and after a few years was promoted to manager at one of that company’s multi-million dollar counters. This was a great experience and a huge responsibility, but I was up for the challenge. I loved my job and the people I worked with, even with all the stress it brought, but just a few years later I got fired. It was complete corporate politics, and I haven’t shared that with many people in my life because it really hurt me, especially since I gave so much of myself to that job.
But I took that frustration and transformed it into opportunity. I became an entrepreneur, opening my business at 25 and getting on track with my own health and wellness. That was the best education I could have received. Figuring out how to run your own business at that young age required a lot of work, questions, resources and emotional support from friends and family.
In my 30's I was in my first marriage, found BJJ and competition, stayed focused on my business, and tried to be the perfect Italian housewife. Let me tell you, she doesn’t exist! That marriage failed but I discovered myself in the process. Honestly, I believe that struggle helped both my ex and me get to much better places in our lives. After my divorce at 34, I spent the next several years focusing on all my passions, my work and on my own self-care and spiritual journey. I was super protective of myself and took this time to be alone. It was an invaluable time, letting me focus on myself, get clarity on what I really wanted and needed, and ensuring I truly loved myself. I continued my education and received my nutrition and personal training certification which helped grow and evolve my business. Towards the end of my 30’s I also became a Zia, one of my most important and favorite roles. Big thank you to my sister and brother-in-law for making this possible!
Fast forward to 40 when I literally received my Jiu-Jitsu black belt on my birthday! What an incredible way to celebrate my b-day and start out my year. I also married my true partner, best friend and the love of my life. I’m living a dream of running a Jiu-Jitsu school, teaching, training, step-momming and so much more. I feel like the older I get I am more in tune with myself, my soul, my body and everything I truly need!
Today, I feel like I know who I am, I like who I am, and I am genuinely grateful for the journey that got me here, with all the ups and downs. That’s why, in the wake of competing at Mast
ers Worlds (my first as a black belt) I felt compelled to share some thoughts on the journey that got me there. It’s been, as the Beatles said, a long and winding road, but I wouldn’t change a thing. It got me to where I am, and made me who I am. For that, I’m grateful!